i can’t believe it’s 2014 and there’s still no gay romantic comedy about vin diesel and dwayne johnson falling in love

They raise a gaggle of kids undercover working for a gov’t agency together

i would pay multiple dollars to see vin diesel and dwayne johnson portray a cute affectionate couple

(Source: kristyskrushers, via kawaiijohn)

128,759 notes


adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to

(via kawaiijohn)

53,270 notes


"This is your badness level… its extremely high for someone your size…" 


"This is your badness level… its extremely high for someone your size…" 

43,429 notes


I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now

(Source: sleep-ran, via liisbon)

266,907 notes


imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread

later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”

(via chromakite)

99,232 notes


au where the ta’al just looks like this


live long and pwosper

105 notes


i’ve seen aus where jim and spock meet as kids and grow up together, and aus where jim and bones meet as kids and grow up together, but picture this: bones and spock meeting as kids and growing up together, both of them being fiercely protective of one another and totally…

399 notes


jim kirk and leonard mccoy have special calendars that count down to spock’s next pon farr

bones’ is marked with violent exclamation marks and ABANDON ALL HOPE scrawled across it

jim’s has a sticker of a party hat

933 notes


on days when jim has done something particularly life-threatening and dangerous and bones and spock want to get him back they join forces and stand together and talk privately and whenever jim walks past

they laugh

they just laugh

bones, a menacing chuckle; spock a pointed ‘ha ha. ha. ha ha. ha.’

jim finds it terrifying

328 notes


sometimes when jim is wringing his hands i’m like what does spock think

is he like ah, the captain is pleasuring himself. i shall return at a later time

810 notes